


Bloody Mary (SEASON ONE, EPISODE FIVE)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Episode: s01e05 Bloody Mary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A playa takes a thugged-out dirt nap of a stroke up in front of a mirror but Sam n' Dean believe something, or one of mah thugs (Bloody Mary), may be behind his fuckin lil' dirtnap. Dean tries ta help Sam open up bout his wild lil' freakadelic hoez dirtnap, particularly afta Sam lets it slip dat there be a some shiznit dat dat schmoooove muthafucka aint holla'd at Dean</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

_Toledo, Ohio_  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER LIVING ROOM - NIGHT  


Three GIRLS is laughing, gathered round a table wit candles. Da candlelight is tha only light.

 **GIRL 1**  
Okay, yo' turn, truth or dare?

 **LILY**  
Truth.

 **GIRL 1**  
Do you wanna make up wit Benji Swartz?

GIRL 2 laughs.

 **LILY**  
Dare.

 **GIRL 1**  
Okay, lame. Yo ass have to...say "Bloody Mary" up in tha bathroom.

 **LILY**  
Is dat tha dopest you can come up with?

 **GIRL 2**  
Whoz Bloody Mary?

 **GIRL 1**  
Dat hoe dis witch.

 **LILY**  
I heard dat biiiiatch was a lady capped up in a cold-ass lil hoopty crash.

 **GIRL 1**  
It don't matta whoz ass she is. Point is, if you say her name three times up in tha bathroom mirror she appears...and scratches yo' eyes out!

LILY n' GIRL 2 jump.

 **GIRL 2**  
So why would mah playas say it?

 **LILY**  
Because it aint real.

LILY gets up, n' GIRL 1 handz her a cold-ass lil candle.

 **GIRL 1**  
No turnin on tha lights, n' remember...three times.

 _INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT_  


LILY opens tha bathroom door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks all up in tha shadows on tha wall, then closes tha door n' puts tha candle down up in front of tha mirror.

 **LILY**  
Bloody Mary. This is so fuckin wack. Bloody Mary.

Da candle flickers. LILY looks at it fo' realz. A long pause.

 **LILY**  
Bloody Mary.

A pause fo' realz. A bangin noise. LILY shrieks. Poundin on tha door.

 _EXT yo. HALLWAY - NIGHT_  


LILY opens tha door ta find GIRLS 1 n' 2, laughing.

 **GIRL 1**  
Scared ya.

 **LILY**  
Yo ass muthafuckas is jerks.

 **STEVEN**  
Lily.

LILY looks up ta tha top of tha stairs, where her big-ass booty sees her father, STEVEN SHOEMAKER.

 **STEVEN**  
Do you mind keepin it down?

 **LILY**  
Sorry, Daddy.

 **GIRLS 1 & 2**  
Sorry, Mista Muthafuckin Shoemaker.

STEVEN headz upstairs yo. Dude passes nuff muthafuckin mirrors; each has BLOODY MARY.

 _INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - NIGHT_  


STEVEN takes some pizzlez outta tha bathroom medicine cabinet n' closes tha cabinet, revealin another mirror yo. Dude pops tha pizzlez up in his crazy-ass grill, then looks closer all up in tha mirror, noticin some scratches under his wild lil' fuckin eye.

 _INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY_  


LILY n' both GIRLS is gigglin together.

 **GIRL 2**  
Yo ass so like him!

DONNA, LILYz olda sister, comes up in tha front door.

 **DONNA**  
Yo, geek. Yo ass muthafuckas havin fun?

 **LILY**  
Yo ass is up past curfew.

 **DONNA**  
Thanks, Dad.

DONNA goes upstairs.

 _INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT_  


A pool of blood comin up from under tha bathroom door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DONNA roundz tha corner n' sees it, stops, then starts forward mo' slowly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch hesitantly pushes open tha bathroom door, revealin a pimped out deal mo' blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! DONNA screams.


	2. ACT ONE

_DREAM SEQUENCE_  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STANFORD APARTMENT - NIGHT  
  


Da entire scene is tinted blue.  
From 1.01 Pilot, SAM lies on tha bed, eyes closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! JESS is on tha ceiling. Blood drips on SAMz forehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' sees her muthafuckin ass.

 **JESS  
** Why, Sam, biatch? Why, Sam?

 **SAM  
** No!

JESS bursts tha fuck into flame.

 **JESS  
** Why, Sam, biatch? Why, Sam?

 _IMPALA_  
INT. IMPALA - DAY  
  


 **DEAN  
** Sam, wake up.

SAM wakes, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sits up n' looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dat punk chillin shotgun up in tha Impala, which is parked up in front of a big-ass building.

 **SAM  
** I take it I was havin a nightmare.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, another one.

 **SAM  
** Yo, at least I gots some chill.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, sooner or lata we gonna gotta rap bout this.

 **SAM  
** Is our crazy asses here?

 **DEAN  
** Yup. Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Toledo, Ohio.

SAM picks up a newspaper wit STEVEN SHOEMAKERz obituary circled.  
SHOEMAKER, Steven  
Da Shoemaker crew is fucked up ta announce tha sudden dirtnap of they beloved homeboy n' daddy Steven Shoemaker n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steven was 46 fo' realz. A short steez is ghon be held on Wednesday, [...] 31 at 2:00 p.m. all up in tha Toledo [...] n' cherish you [...] Yo crazy-ass [...]

 **SAM  
** So what tha fuck do you be thinkin straight-up happened ta dis muthafucka?

 **DEAN  
** Thatz what tha fuck we gonna smoke up.

 **DEAN  
** Letz go.

DEAN n' SAM git outta tha hoopty n' head up ta tha building.

 _MORGUE_  
INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY  
  


SAM n' DEAN head tha fuck into room 144, marked Morgue.  
Therez two desks. Da empty one has a nameplate dat say Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. D. Feiklowicz. Da other one has tha MORGUE TECHNICIAN.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Hey.

 **DEAN  
** Hey.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Can I help yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. We the, uh...med hustlas.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Sorry?

 **DEAN  
** Oh, Doctor-

DEAN stumblez over tha name.

 **DEAN  
** -Figlavitch didn't tell yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** We talked ta his ass on tha phone yo. He, uh, we from Ohio State. Dat punk supposed ta show our asses tha Shoemaker corpse. It aint nuthin but fo' our paper.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Well, I be sorry, he at lunch.

 **DEAN  
** Oh well da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, uh-

 **DEAN  
** -oh, well, you know, it don't matter n' shit. Yo ass don't mind just showin our asses tha body, do yo slick ass?

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Sorry, I can't.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Doc is ghon be back up in a hour. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Yo ass can wait fo' his ass if you want.

 **DEAN  
** An hour, biatch? Ooh. We gotta be headin back ta Columbus by then.

DEAN looks at SAM.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Uh, look, dude, dis paperz like half our grade, so if you don't mind helpin our asses out-

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Uh, look, man...no.

DEAN laughs a lil.  
DEAN turns round n' mumbles.

 **DEAN  
** I'ma hit his ass up in his wild lil' grill I swear.

SAM hits DEAN on tha arm yo. Dude steps up in front of DEAN n' opens his wallet n' pulls up some twentizzles yo. Dude lays all dem of them, at least five, down on tha MORGUE TECHz desk. Da MORGUE TECH picks up tha scrilla.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Big up mah dirty ass.

Da MORGUE TECH gets up n' leaves. DEAN grabs SAM when SAM tries ta follow.

 **DEAN  
** Dude, I gots dat scrilla.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass won it up in a poker game.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

SAM bigs up tha MORGUE TECH.

_INT. MORGUE - DAY_   
  


**SAM  
** Now tha newspaper holla'd his fuckin lil' daughta found his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch holla'd his wild lil' fuckin eyes was bleeding.

Da MORGUE TECH pulls back tha shizzle over STEVENz face.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Mo' than dis shit. They practically liquefied.

 **DEAN  
** Any sign of a struggle, biatch? Maybe some muthafucka done did it ta him?

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Nope. Besides tha daughter, da thug was all ridin' solo.

 **SAM  
** Whatz tha straight-up legit cause of dirtnap.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Ah, Docs not sure. Dat punk thankin massive stroke, maybe a aneurysm, biatch? Somethang burst up in there, thatz fo' sure.

 **SAM  
** What do you mean?

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Intense cerebral bleeding. This muthafucka had mo' blood up in his skull than mah playas I've eva seen.

 **SAM  
** Da eyes&mashwhat would cause suttin' like that?

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Capillaries can burst. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See a shitload of bloodshot eyes wit stroke suckas.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? Yo ass eva peep explodin eyeballs?

 **MORGUE TECH  
** Thatz a gangbangin' first fo' me yo, but hey, I aint tha doctor.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, be thinkin we could take a peep dat five-o report, biatch? Yo ass know for, uh...our paper.

 **MORGUE TECH  
** I aint straight-up supposed ta show you that.

SAM, annoyed, pulls up his wallet.

_INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY_   
  


SAM n' DEAN is struttin down stairs.

 **SAM  
** Might not be one of ours. Might just be some freak medicinal thang.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff times up in Dadz long n' varied game has it straight-up been a gangbangin' freak medicinal thang n' not some sign of a wack supernatural dirtnap?

 **SAM  
** Uh, almost never.

 **DEAN  
** Exactly.

 **SAM  
** All right, letz go rap ta tha daughter.

 _SHOEMAKER HOUSE_  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER HOUSE - DAY  
  


DEAN n' SAM strutt tha fuck into tha funeral. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. There be a picture of STEVEN SHOEMAKER on tha desk. Da attendees is all pimps up in black suits n' dem hoes up in black dresses, except DEAN n' SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Feel like we underdressed.

They keep struttin all up in tha doggy den towardz tha back.

_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER BACKYARD - DAY_   
  


A MAN points DEAN n' SAM towardz DONNA n' LILY SHOEMAKER, whoz ass is wit they playaz JILL n' CHARLIE.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass must be Donna, right?

 **DONNA  
** Yeah.

 **SAM  
** Yea muthafucka, uh-we're straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit.

 **DONNA  
** Nuff props, biatch.

 **SAM  
** I be Sam, dis is Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us thugs hit dat shiznit wit yo' dad.

DONNA looks at CHARLIE, then back at SAM n' DEAN.

 **DONNA  
** Yo ass did?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. This whole thang. I mean, a stroke.

 **CHARLIE  
** I don't be thinkin she straight-up wants ta rap bout dis right now

 **DONNA  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. I be aiiight.

 **DEAN  
** Were there any symptoms, biatch? Dizziness, biatch? Migraines?

 **DONNA  
** No.

LILY turns around.

 **LILY  
** Thatz cuz it wasn't a stroke.

 **DONNA  
** Lily, don't say that.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DONNA  
** I be sorry, she just upset.

 **LILY  
** Fuck dat shit, it happened cuz of mah dirty ass.

 **DONNA  
** Sweetie, it didn't.

 **SAM  
** Lily.

SAM gets down on eye level wit LILY.

 **SAM  
** Why would you say suttin' like that?

 **LILY  
** Right before da ruffneck died, I holla'd dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass holla'd what?

 **LILY  
** Bloody Mary, three times up in tha bathroom mirror.

A pause.

 **LILY  
** Bitch took his wild lil' fuckin eyes, thatz what tha fuck her dope ass do.

 **DONNA  
** Thatz not why Dad died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This aint yo' fault.

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin yo' sisterz right, Lily. Therez no way it could done been Bloody Mary. Yo crazy-ass daddy didn't say it, did he?

 **LILY  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't be thinkin so.

 _INSIDE SHOEMAKER HOUSE_  
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY  
  


Focus on one of tha mirrors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is peeped up in tha mirror approachin it, then roundin tha corner.

_INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - DAY_   
  


SAM pushes tha door open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There is still some dried blood on tha floor.

 **SAM  
** Da Bloody Mary legend...Dad eva find any evidence dat dat shiznit was a real thang?

 **DEAN  
** Not dat I know of.

DEAN strutts tha fuck into tha bathroom and. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM stoops ta tha floor n' touches tha dried blood.

 **SAM  
** I mean, everywhere else all over tha ghetto, lil playas will play Bloody Mary, n' as far as we know, no muthafucka takes a thugged-out dirt nap from dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, maybe everywhere itz just a rap yo, but here itz straight-up happening.

 **SAM  
** Da place where tha legend fuckin started?

DEAN shrugs n' opens tha medicine cabinet.

 **SAM  
** But accordin ta tha legend, tha thug whoz ass say B-

SAM looks all up in tha medicine cabinet mirror, which now faces him, n' closes dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Da thug whoz ass say you know what tha fuck gets dat shit. But here-

 **DEAN  
** Shoemaker gets it instead, yeah.

 **SAM  
** Right.

 **DEAN  
** Never heard anythang like dat before. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Still, tha muthafucka did take a thugged-out dirtnap right up in front of tha mirror, n' tha daughterz right. Da way tha legend goes, you know whoz ass scratches yo' eyes out.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but worth checkin up in to.

_INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY_   
  


A biatch visible from knees down approaches.

_INT. BATHROOM - DAY_   
  


SAM n' DEAN leave tha bathroom.

_INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY_   
  


**CHARLIE  
** What is you bustin up here?

 **DEAN  
** We-we, had ta git all up in tha bathroom.

 **CHARLIE  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Like we holla'd downstairs, our crazy asses hit dat shiznit wit Donnaz dad.

 **CHARLIE  
** Dude was a thugged-out dizzle trader or somethang yo. Dude hit dat shiznit by his dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, I know, I meant-

 **CHARLIE  
** And all dem weird thangs downstairs, what tha fuck was that, biatch? So you tell me what tha fuck be happenin, or I start screaming.

 **SAM  
** All right, all right. We be thinkin suttin' happened ta Donnaz dad.

 **CHARLIE  
** Yeah, a stroke.

 **SAM  
** Thatz not a sign of a typical stroke. We be thinkin it might be suttin' else.

 **CHARLIE  
** Like what?

 **SAM  
** Honestly, biatch? Us dudes don't know fuck yet. But our phat asses don't want it ta happen ta any suckas. Thatz tha real deal.

 **DEAN  
** So, if you gonna scream, go right ahead.

 **CHARLIE  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you, cops?

SAM looks over his shoulder at DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** Somethang like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.

 **SAM  
** I be bout ta rap what tha fuck yo. Here.

SAM reaches tha fuck into his thugged-out lil' pocket, pulls up a paper n' pen, n' starts freestylin down his cell number.

 **SAM  
** If you be thinkin of anything, you or yo' playaz notice anythang strange, outta tha ordinary...just give our asses a cold-ass lil call.

SAM handz her tha paper as he n' DEAN strutt down tha hallway.

 _LIBRARY_  
INT. LIBRARY - DAY  
  


SAM n' DEAN strutt tha fuck into a library, rather dark fo' tha time of day.

 **DEAN  
** All right, say Bloody Mary straight-up is hustlin dis town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Therez gonna be some sort of proof-Like a local biatch whoz ass took a dirt nap nasty.

 **SAM  
** Yeah but a legend dis widespread itz hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, there be a like 50 versionz of whoz ass she straight-up is. One rap say she a witch, another say she a mutilated bride, there be a a shitload mo' n' mo' n' mo'. They strutt up in ta tha actual library.

 **DEAN  
** All right so what tha fuck is we supposed ta be lookin for?

 **SAM  
** Every versionz gots all dem thangs up in common. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but always a biatch named Mary, n' she always takes a thugged-out dirt nap right up in front of a mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we've gotta search local newspapers-hood recordz as far back as they go. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See if we can find a Mary whoz ass fits tha bill.

 **DEAN  
** Well dat soundz buggin.

 **SAM  
** No it won't be all kindsa bad, as long as we...

Dude looks all up in tha computas which all say "Out of Order" on dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
SAM chuckles

 **SAM  
** I take it back. This is ghon be straight-up buggin.

Cut scene ta DONNAz playa rollin up in a cold-ass lil hoopty poppin' off on her beeper.

 **Charlie  
** I aint sure. They was cops or detectives or something.

Da beeper conversation is between DONNAz playa n' another hoe whoz ass was all up in tha funeral named Jill. Jill is up in her room takin off her sweater.

 **Jill  
** Whoever they were, they was cute.

 **Charlie  
** Jill

 **Jill  
** Yo ass didn't be thinkin so?

 **Charlie  
** Yeah aiiight they was cute. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Still, do you be thinkin suttin' happened ta DONNAz dad?

 **Jill  
** Maybe LILY was right. Maybe Bloody Mary gots his muthafuckin ass.

 **Charlie  
** Ha ha, straight-up funky.

 **Jill  
** Wait, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Was dat fear I hear up in yo' voice?

 **Charlie  
** No.

 **Jill  
** Charlie, I be struttin ta tha bathroom mirror n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

 **Charlie  
** Jill, quit dat shit.

 **Jill  
** Bitch gets ta her bathroom mirror. Oh shiiiiiiiit, I can't help mah dirty ass. I'ma say dat shit. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.

There be a silence on tha phone.

 **Charlie  
** Jill, biatch? 

Jill screams. 

**Charlie**  
Jill!?!

 **Jill  
** Starts laughing Yo ass is such a gangbangin' freak, I be bout ta call you tomorrow.

They hang up tha beeper n' Jill goes ta her closet ta finish gettin chizzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch opens tha door, n' on tha inside there be a mirror, where we peep Bloody Mary. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch closes tha closet door n' goes ta sit tha fuck down at her vanity, where of course there be another mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. We peep Bloody Mary as dat dunkadelic hoe takes her earrings out, n' then her reflection again n' again n' again when Jill strutts up in front of her TV screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jill goes back up in tha bathroom ta wash her grill yo, but as da hoe bendz down ta wash, her reflection up in tha mirror stays standing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks up n' sees her reflection lookin at her as if it was another person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jill starts panickin as tha reflection up in tha mirror starts oozin blood outta its eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch reaches up n' feels blood on her own face.

 **Reflection  
** Yo ass done did dat shit. Yo ass capped dat boy.

Jill falls down afta seemingly bein strangled ta dirtnap as her reflection up in tha mirror watches her muthafuckin ass.


	3. ACT TWO

Cut ta SAMz trip again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da flames sucked up tha fuck into Jessicaz body, our crazy asses hear "Why SAM?" n' SAM wakes up.

 **SAM**  
Why'd you let me fall asleep?

 **DEAN**  
Cause I be a phat brutha n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck did you trip about?

 **SAM**  
Lollipops n' candy canes.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, sure.

 **SAM**  
Did yo dirty ass find anything?

 **DEAN**  
Oh besides a whole freshly smoked up level of frustration, biatch? SAM sits up. No. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I looked at every last muthafuckin thang fo' realz. A few local dem hoes, a Laura n' a Catherine committed suicizzle up in front of a mirror, n' a giant mirror fell tha fuck on a muthafucka named Dizzle yo, but uh, no Mary.

 **SAM**  
Falls back on tha bed. Maybe our laid-back asses just aint found it yet.

 **DEAN**  
I've also been searchin fo' strange dirtnaps up in tha area, you know...eyebizzle bleeding, dat sort of thang. Therez nothing. Whateverz goin' down here, maybe it just ain't Mary.

SAMz cell beeper rings yo. Dude lyrics dat shit.

 **SAM**  
Hello, biatch? Us dudes do not hear whoz ass is callin yo, but a look of concern comes across SAMz face.

Cut scene ta a park bench. Charlie is chillin there n' DEAN is chillin on tha back of it, n' SAM is standin there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Charlie is crying.

 **Charlie**  
And they found her on tha bathroom floor fo' realz. And her-her eyes. They was gone.

 **SAM**  
I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **Charlie**  
And her big-ass booty holla'd dat shit. DEAN looks up at SAM. I heard her say dat shit. But it couldn't be cuz of dis shit. I be insane, right?

 **DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, you not insane.

 **Charlie**  
Oh God, dat make me feel so much worse.

 **SAM**  
Look. We be thinkin somethingz goin' down here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang dat can't be explained.

 **DEAN**  
And we gonna stop it but we could use yo' help.

Cut scene ta Jillz room. Charlie comes up in n' locks tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then goes over ta tha window n' opens it, where SAM n' DEAN is waitin ta enter n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM entas first n' DEAN throws his ass a thugged-out duffel bag. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sets it on tha bed n' starts goin all up in dat shit.

 **SAM**  
What did you tell Jillz mom?

 **Charlie  
** Just dat I needed some time ridin' solo wit Jillz pictures n' thangs. SAM pulls suttin' outta tha bag n'

DEAN shuts tha curtains. I don't give a fuck bout lyin ta her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN**  
Trust us, dis is fo' tha pimped outa good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Hit tha lights.

 **Charlie  
** goes over ta turn off tha lights. What is you muthafuckas lookin for?

 **DEAN  
** We bout ta let you know as soon as we find dat shit.

SAM has a gangbangin' finger-lickin' digital camera ready, n' handz it ta DEAN.

 **SAM  
** Yo, night vision. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DEAN turns on tha night vision fo' his muthafuckin ass. Da digital camera be aimed at DEAN.

 **DEAN**  
Do I be lookin like Paris Hilton?

SAM strutts away wit tha camera yo. Dude opens Jillz closet door n' begins filmin round tha mirror.

 **SAM**  
So I don't git dat shit. I mean...the first sucka didn't summon Mary, n' tha second sucka done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Howz dat thugged-out biiiatch choosin them?

 **DEAN**  
Beats mah dirty ass.

SAM closes tha closet door.

 **DEAN**  
I wanna know why Jill holla'd it up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.

 **Charlie**  
It aint nuthin but just a joke.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah well some muthafuckaz gonna say it again, itz just a matta of time.

SAM is up in tha bathroom filmin round tha mirror when da perved-out muthafucka stops n' sees tricklez of suttin' hustlin up from behind tha mirror.

 **SAM**  
Hey. DEAN n' Charlie turn ta peep his muthafuckin ass. Therez a funky-ass black light up in tha trunk, right?

SAM has carried tha mirror up ta Jillz bed n' lays it on tha bed upside down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN throws his ass a funky-ass black light. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM peels off tha brown paper dat is on tha back of tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM shines tha black light over tha back of tha mirror n' we peep a handprint, n' tha lyrics "Gary Bryman."

 **Charlie**  
Gary Bryman?

 **SAM**  
Yo ass know whoz ass dat is?

 **Charlie**  
No.

Cut scene ta outside, again n' again n' again on a funky-ass bench. DEAN n' Charlie is chillin on it, n' SAM comes up behind dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM**  
So, Gary Bryman was a 8-year-old boy. Two muthafuckin years ago da thug was capped up in a hit n' run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da hoopty was busted lyrics bout as a funky-ass black Toyota Camry. But no muthafucka gots tha plates or saw tha driver.

 **Charlie**  
Oh mah Dogg.

 **SAM**  
What?

 **Charlie**  
Jill drove dat car.

 **DEAN**  
We need ta git back ta yo' playa DONNAz house.

Cut scene ta tha bathroom of DONNAz house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is hunched over tha back of tha mirror wit a funky-ass black light. There be a handprint on it, n' tha lyrics "Linda Shoemaker".

 **SAM**  
Linda Shoemaker.

Cut scene ta downstairs wit DONNA.

 **DONNA**  
Why is you askin me this?

 **SAM**  
Look, we sorry yo, but itz blingin.

 **DONNA**  
Yeah. Lindaz mah momma aiiight, biatch? Biatch overdosed on chillin pizzles, dat shiznit was a accident, n' thatz dat shit. I be thinkin you should muthafuckin bounce.

 **DEAN**  
Now DONNA, just listen.

 **DONNA**  
Git outta mah doggy den biaaatch! she runs upstairs.

 **Charlie**  
Oh mah Dogg. Do you straight-up be thinkin her daddy could've capped her mom?

 **SAM**  
Maybe.

 **Charlie**  
I be thinkin I should stick around.

 **DEAN**  
All right. Whatever you do, don't-

 **Charlie**  
Believe me, I won't say dat shit.

Cut scene ta DEAN at a cold-ass lil computa n' SAM lookin at some thangs posted on a funky-ass bulletin board.

 **SAM**  
Wait, wait, wait, you bustin a nationwide search?

 **DEAN**  
Yep. Da NCIC, tha STD database-at dis point any Mary whoz ass took a dirt nap up in front of a mirror is phat enough fo' mah dirty ass.

 **SAM**  
But if dat freaky freaky biatch hustlin tha town, her big-ass booty should have took a dirt nap up in tha town.

 **DEAN**  
I be spittin some lyrics ta you there be a not a god damn thang local, I've checked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So unless you gots a funky-ass betta idea-

 **SAM**  
Da way Maryz choosin her suckas, it seems like there be a a pattern.

 **DEAN**  
I know, I was thankin tha SAMe thang.

 **SAM**  
With mista Shoemaker n' Jillz hit n' run.

 **DEAN**  
Both had secrets where playas died.

 **SAM**  
Right. I mean there be a a shitload of folklore bout mirrors-that they reveal all yo' lies, all yo' secrets, dat they a legit reflection of yo' soul, which is why itz shitty luck ta break dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN**  
Right, right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So maybe if you've gots a secret, I mean like a straight-up nasty one where one of mah thugs died, then Mary sees it, n' punishes you fo' dat shit.

 **SAM**  
Whether you tha one dat summoned her or not.

 **DEAN  
** Take a peep all dis bullshit. Cut ta a picture of a biatch lyin by a mirror up in a puddle of blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

DEAN prints up another picture n' handz it ta SAM. Da picture iz of a handprint n' tha lettas "Tre"

 **SAM**  
Looks like tha SAMe handprint.

 **DEAN**  
Her name was Mary Worthington-an unsolved cappin' up in Fort Weezy, Indiana.

Cut ta a five-o or detectizzle agency, n' tha lyrics "Fort Weezy, Indiana" come on tha screen.

 **Detective**  
I was on tha thang fo' 35 years-detectizzle fo' most of dis shit. Now dem hoes packs it up in wit all dem loose endz yo, but tha Mary Worthington murder-that one still gets mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN**  
What exactly happened?

 **Detective**  
Yo ass thugs holla'd you was hustlas?

 **SAM**  
We know Mary was 19, lived by her muthafuckin ass. We know dat biiiiatch won all dem local beauty contests, dreamt of gettin outta Indiana, bein a playette fo' realz. And we know tha night of March 29th one of mah thugs broke tha fuck into her crib n' murdered her, cut up her eyes wit a knife.

 **Detective**  
Thatz right.

 **SAM**  
See sir, when we axed you what tha fuck happened, we wanted ta know what tha fuck you be thinkin happened.

Cut scene ta tha detectizzle pullin some filez outta a gangbangin' file cabinet.

 **Detective**  
Technically I aint supposed ta git a cold-ass lil copy of all dis bullshit. Dude opens a gangbangin' file ta tha picture SAM n' DEAN found on tha computer. Now peep dat there, biatch? T-R-E?

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

 **Detective**  
I be thinkin Mary was tryin ta spell up tha name of her killer.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass know whoz ass it was?

 **Detective  
** Not fo' sure. But there was a local dude, a surgeon-Trevor SAMpson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude pulls up a picture of a man.

 **Detective  
** And I be thinkin he cut her up good.

 **SAM**  
Now why would da ruffneck do suttin' like that?

 **Detective**  
Her diary mentioned a playa dat dat biiiiatch was seeing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch called his ass by his crazy-ass muthafuckin initial, "T". Well, her last entry, dat biiiiatch was gonna tell "T"z hoe bout they affair.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah but how tha fuck do you know dat shiznit was SAMpson whoz ass capped her?

 **Detective**  
It aint nuthin but hard ta say yo, but tha way her eyes was cut out...it was almost professional.

 **DEAN**  
But you could never prove it?

 **Detective**  
No. No prints, no witnesses yo. Dude was meticulous.

 **DEAN**  
Is da perved-out muthafucka still kickin it?

 **Detective**  
Nope. sits down n' sighs If you ask me, Mary dropped her last livin moments tryin ta expose dis muthafuckaz secret. But she never could.

 **SAM**  
Wherez da hoe buried?

 **Detective**  
Bitch wasn't. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was cremated.

 **DEAN**  
What bout dat mirror nodz all up in tha one up in tha picture. It aint nuthin but not up in some evidence lockup somewhere is it?

 **Detective**  
Ah, no. Dat shiznit was moonwalked back ta Maryz crew a long-ass time ago.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass have tha namez of her crew by any chance?

Cut scene ta tha inside of a girlz bathroom at a school where DONNA n' Charlie is struttin in.

 **DONNA**  
I mean, you brang these strangers tha fuck into mah doggy den n' they ask me thangs like that?

 **Charlie**  
They was only tryin ta help. Please, DONNA, you gotta believe mah dirty ass.

 **DONNA**  
What, biatch? Bout Bloody Mary, biatch? Of course they have now stopped up in front of tha mirror.

 **Charlie**  
Please, I know it soundz crazy-

 **DONNA**  
Crazy-Ass don't even begin ta cover dat shit. I mean itz one thang fo' mah sista ta believe dis crap, she 12. But yo slick ass?

 **Charlie**  
Think bout tha way yo' daddy died, aiiight, biatch? And tha way Jill died.

 **DONNA**  
Okay so she turns ta grill tha mirror Bloody Mary.

 **Charlie**  
No!

 **DONNA**  
Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bitch turns back ta grill Charlie See, biatch? Nothang happened.

 **Charlie**  
Why would you do that?

 **DONNA**  
Oh mah Dogg. There straight-up is suttin' wack wit you, biatch.

Cut scene ta tha school halls. Charlie is struttin down past some windows tha fuck into tha classroom, n' we peep Bloody Mary up in one of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.


	4. ACT THREE

We come back ta a physics/science class at Charliez school.

 **Teacher  
** Elements dat loose electrons become positizzle ions, which is smalla than other atomz of tha same element.

Charlie opens up her compact.

 **Teacher**  
Therefore tha ionic radius is smalla than tha atomic radius.

Charlie sees Bloody Mary up in tha corner n' screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da class freaks up as her big-ass booty starts hustlin round tha room.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie biaaatch!

Bitch sees tha reflection of Mary up in tha window of tha door, picks up a stool, n' throws it all up in tha window.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie!!!

Da mackdaddy catches Charlie.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie stop dat shiznit son! Whatz wrong!, biatch? Just quit trippin' out.

Charlie sees Mary up in tha reflection of tha mackdaddyz glasses.

 **Charlie  
** Aah! Let me go!

 **Teacher  
** Charlie biaaatch! Charlie runs outta tha room.

Cut ta SAM n' DEAN rollin down tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM is on his beeper.

 **SAM  
** Oh straight-up, biatch? Ah thatz too shitty Mista Muthafuckin Worthington. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I would have paid a shitload fo' dat mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Okay, well maybe next time fo' realz. All right, props.

SAM hangs up.

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So dat was Maryz brutha n' shit. Da mirror was up in tha crew fo' years, until da perved-out muthafucka sold it one week ago ta a store called Estate Antiques fo' realz. A store up in Toledo.

 **DEAN  
** So wherever tha mirror goes, thatz where Mary goes?

 **SAM  
** Her spiritz definitely tied up wit it somehow.

 **DEAN  
** Isn't there a oldschool superstizzle dat say mirrors can capture spirits?

 **SAM  
** Yeah there is. Yeah, when one of mah thugs would take a thugged-out dirtnap up in a doggy den playas would cover up tha mirrors so tha pimp wouldn't git trapped.

 **DEAN  
** So Mary takes a thugged-out dirt nap up in front of a mirror, n' it draws up in her spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither.

 **SAM  
** Yeah but how tha fuck could she move all up in like a hundred different mirrors?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck yo, but if tha mirror is tha source, I say we find it n' smash dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, I don't give a fuck, maybe. SAMz cell beeper rings. Hello. Da look of concern comes across his wild lil' grill again Charlie?

Cut scene ta wherever SAM n' DEAN where staying. Charlie is chillin on tha bed wit her head on her knees n' SAM n' DEAN have all of tha curtains drawn shut, n' is throwin sheets over tha mirrors, or facin dem ta tha wall or floor.

 **SAM  
** Sits next ta Charlie Yo, hey itz ok. Yo, you can open up yo' eyes Charlie. It aint nuthin but all gravy, all right?

Charlie looks up slowly.

 **SAM  
** Now listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is gonna stay right here on dis bed, n' you not gonna peep glass, or anythang else dat has a reflection, aiiight, biatch? And as long as you do that, dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot git you, biatch.

 **Charlie  
** But I can't keep dat up forever n' shit. I'ma die, aren't I?

 **SAM  
** No. No. Not anytime soon.

 **DEAN  
** Sits on tha bed too All right Charlie. We need ta know what tha fuck happened.

 **Charlie  
** Us thugs was up in tha bathroom. DONNA holla'd dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz not what tha fuck we poppin' off about. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang happened, didn't it, biatch? In yo' game...a secret...where one of mah thugs gots hurt. Yo ass betta tell our asses bout it?

 **Charlie  
** I had dis pimp yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. I loved his muthafuckin ass. But he kind of scared mah crazy ass too, you know, biatch? And one night, at his house, we gots up in dis fight. Then I broke up wit him, n' he gots upset, n' da perved-out muthafucka holla'd he needed mah crazy ass n' he loved me, n' da perved-out muthafucka holla'd "Charlie, if you strutt up dat door up in dis biatch, I'ma bust a cap up in mah dirty ass." And you know what tha fuck I holla'd, biatch? I holla'd "Go ahead." And I left yo. How tha fuck could I say that, biatch? How tha fuck could I leave his ass like that, biatch? I just...I didn't believe him, you know, biatch? I should have. Bitch puts her grill back on her knees n' starts bustin up like a biatch again.

Cut scene ta SAM n' DEAN rollin up in tha rain.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know her pimp cappin' his dirty ass, thatz not straight-up Charliez fault.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know as well as I do spirits don't exactly peep shadez of gray, DEAN. Charlie had a secret, one of mah thugs died, thatz phat enough fo' Mary.

 **DEAN  
** I guess.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, I've been thinking. Well shiiiit, it might not be enough ta just smash dat mirror.

 **DEAN  
** Why, what tha fuck do you mean?

 **SAM  
** Well Maryz hard ta pin down, right, biatch? I mean she moves round from mirror ta mirror so whoz ta say dat she not just gonna keep hidin up in dem forever, biatch? So maybe we should try ta pin her down, you know, summon her ta her mirror n' then smash dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Well how tha fuck do you know thatz goin ta work?

 **SAM  
** I don't, not fo' sure.

 **DEAN  
** Well whoz gonna summon her?

 **SAM  
** I will. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch bout ta fuckin come afta mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know what, thatz dat shit. Dude pulls tha hoopty over. This be bout Jessica, aint it, biatch? Yo ass be thinkin thatz yo' dirty lil secret dat you capped her somehow, biatch? SAM, dis has gots ta stop, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I mean, tha nightmares n' callin her name up in tha middle of tha night-itz gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch. Now dig me-It wasn't yo' fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame tha thang dat capped her n' shit. Or hell, why don't you take a swin all up in mah grill son, biatch? I mean I be tha one dat dragged you away from her up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.

 **SAM  
** I don't blame you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Well you shouldn't blame yo ass, cuz there be a not a god damn thang you could've done.

 **SAM  
** I could've warned her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Bout what, biatch? Yo ass didn't give a fuck what tha fuck was gonna happen! And besides, all of dis aint a secret, I mean I know all bout dat shit. It aint nuthin but not gonna work wit Mary anyway.

 **SAM  
** No you don't.

 **DEAN  
** I don't what?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass don't give a fuck all bout dat shit. I aint holla'd at you every last muthafuckin thang.

 **DEAN  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **SAM  
** Well it wouldn't straight-up be a secret if I holla'd at you, would it?

Dean looks surprised

 **DEAN**  
No. I don't like dat shit. It aint nuthin but not gonna happen, forget dat shit.

 **SAM  
** DEAN dat hoe back there is goin ta take a thugged-out dirtnap unless our phat asses do suttin' bout it fo' realz. And you know what, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows how tha fuck nuff mo' playas is gonna take a thugged-out dirtnap afta that, biatch? Now our phat asses bustin all dis bullshit. You've gots ta let me do this.

Cut scene ta tha shop. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is tryin ta pick tha lock on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it opens n' they peep nuff mirrors is up in dis shop.

 **DEAN  
** Well...thatz just pimped out. Dude pulls up tha picture of Maryz dead body ta peep tha mirror. All right letz start looking.

They split up n' strutt round tha store n' we peep a gangbangin' flashin light dat seems ta be part of a alarm.

 **DEAN  
** Maybe they've already sold dat shit.

SAMz flashlight stops on tha mirror.

 **SAM  
** I don't be thinkin so.

DEAN strutts over ta his ass n' pulls up tha picture again n' again n' again ta compare. Well shiiiit, it is tha mirror.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz dat shit. sighs Yo ass shizzle bout this, biatch? SAM handz DEAN tha flashlight.

Sam sighs.

 **SAM  
** Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.

He looks at DEAN whoz ass gives his ass a unsure look back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM picks up tha crowbar

 **SAM**  
Bloody Mary.


	5. ACT FOUR

DEAN turns ta peep a light comin all up in tha store.

 **DEAN  
** I be bout ta go check dat out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay here, be careful naaahhmean, biatch?

SAM readies tha crowbar again Smash anythang dat moves. DEAN crawls away towardz tha front door yo. Dude sees a headlight. Crap. Dude puts tha crowbar down n' begins ta strutt ta tha door.  
Meanwhile SAM hears a funky-ass breath, so tha pimpin' muthafucka turns ta peep a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different mirror, when tha camera turns back ta Maryz we peep her up in dat shit.

Cut scene back ta DEAN whoz ass is now outside facin police.

 **Police**  
Hold dat shit.

 **DEAN**  
Woah muthafuckas, false alarm, I tripped tha system.

 **Police**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

 **DEAN**  
I be tha bosss kid.

 **Police**  
Yo ass is Mista Yamashiroz kid?

Cut scene back ta SAM. We peep Mary up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different mirror now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sees her there outta tha corner of his wild lil' fuckin eye n' smashes tha mirror wit tha crowbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different one now, n' da perved-out muthafucka sees her n' smashes dat mirror like a muthafucka yo. Dude is now back facin her mirror.

 **SAM**  
Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come tha fuck into dis one.

SAM looks oddly at his bangin reflection, which has now taken a mind of its own like Jill's. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM starts havin shiznit breathang n' has a trickle of blood comin outta his wild lil' fuckin eye yo. Dude drops tha crowbar n' grabs his thugged-out ass.

 **Reflection**  
It aint nuthin but yo' fault. Yo ass capped her n' shit. Yo ass capped Jessica.

Cut back ta DEAN outside.

 **DEAN**  
Like I holla'd, I was adopted.

 **Police**  
Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Is bein covered back n' front by tha two cops. Yo ass know, I just-I straight-up aint gots time fo' dis n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

Dude punches one cop, backhandz tha other, then punches tha cop up in front of his ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They is now on tha ground.

Cut scene ta SAM n' his bangin reflection.

 **Reflection  
** Yo ass never holla'd at her tha real deal-who you straight-up were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

SAM is now fallin towardz tha ground.

 **Reflection**  
But itz mo' than that, aint it, biatch? Those nightmares you've been havin of Jizzica dying, screaming, burning-Yo ass had dem fo' minutes before her dope ass died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Didn't you, nahmean biiiatch??! Yo ass was so desperate ta ignore them, ta believe they was just dreams yo. How tha fuck could you ignore dem like that, biatch? How tha fuck could you leave her ridin' solo ta die!?! Yo ass dreamt it would happen!!!

DEANz crowbar goes all up in tha mirror.

DEAN bendz down ta tha floor ta SAM.

 **DEAN**  
SAM, SAMmy!

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but SAM.

 **DEAN**  
God, is you aiiight?

 **SAM**  
Uh, yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Come on, come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude pulls SAM up yo. Dude puts SAMz arm over his neck, n' they begin ta strutt out, until Mary (again, much like SAMara comin outta tha TV up in Da Ring) comes outta tha frame of tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They turn round ta peep her crawlin over tha fucked up glass. May strutts towardz dem n' they both fall ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They both start bleedin from tha grill yo, but DEAN reaches up n' pulls over a mirror so dat Mary is forced ta peep her own reflection.

 **Reflection**  
Yo ass capped them! All dem playas biaaatch! Yo ass capped them!

Mary starts chokin ta dirtnap n' melts tha fuck into a pile of blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! DEAN throws down tha mirror dat schmoooove muthafucka held n' it shatters.

 **DEAN  
** Yo SAM?

 **SAM**  
Yeah?

 **DEAN**  
This has gots ta be like...what, biatch? 600 muthafuckin yearz of shitty luck?

SAM chucklez weakly.


	6. ACT FIVE

We come back ta SAM n' DEAN rollin up in tha hoopty wit Charlie up in tha back. They pull up in front of a house.

 **Charlie**  
So dis is straight-up over?

DEAN nods.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, itz over.

 **Charlie  
** Nuff props, biatch.

DEAN reaches back ta shake her hand, n' she gets outta tha car.

 **SAM  
** Charlie, biatch?

Charlie turns around

 **SAM**  
Yo crazy-ass boyfriendz dirtnap...you straight-up should try ta forgive yo ass. No matta what tha fuck you did, you probably couldn't have stopped dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes shitty thangs just happen.

Charlie smilez faintly, then turns round ta go tha fuck into tha house.

DEAN gently hits SAM

 **DEAN**  
Thatz phat lyrics.

They drive off

 **DEAN**  
Yo SAM?

 **SAM**  
Yeah?

 **DEAN  
** Now dat dis be all over, I want you ta tell me what tha fuck dat secret is.

 **SAM  
** Look...yo ass is mah brutha n' I'd take a thugged-out dirtnap fo' you yo, but there be some thangs I need ta keep ta mah dirty ass.

SAM looks up tha window n' sees Jizzica up in a white dress on tha street corner standin next ta a light pole, as they turn tha corner her dope ass disappears behind tha pole, n' our phat asses don't peep her again.


End file.
